it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
