I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
My vagina is officially offended.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
