are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
