hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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