hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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