He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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