Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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