That's when you crack a 10am beer
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
