Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
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I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
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Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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