im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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