In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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