Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Did I show you my penis last night?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
