Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
