butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Come share oat with me in your robe
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
