I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
