Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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