Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
3 2 1 whiskey
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
