Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
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I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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