All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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