Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
