a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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