Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
