Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize