jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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