The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize