My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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