'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
