it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
