meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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