Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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