God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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