I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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