We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
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Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
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i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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