btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
