Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
