Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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