I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
