What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
