At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
