Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
