he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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