Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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