Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize