We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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