I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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