i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
