Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
it glows. i had to have it.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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