$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
