yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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