He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Damn victory sex feels great
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
