dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
