Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
time to smoke my breakfast
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
