I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
my sisters under your porch take her home
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
