i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
