Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
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i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
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After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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