She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
