I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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