I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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