just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
