Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
