It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
