I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
