LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
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i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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