I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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