Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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