He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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