Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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