The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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