I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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