Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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